…subtitled, “Some days you just need a cookie.”
For those of you BTDT, please let me know if you have experienced what you are about to read below — please feel free to send me advice! I’ve learned much from my blogger buddies and now is the time to weigh in with your suggestions!
So, the boy started “school” this week and so far, so good — sort of. He does freak out a bit when I drop him off but having worked in daycare myself in college, I know how the drop off drill unfolds. When I come to pick him up, he is excited to see me and equally excited to tell me about his day — fingerpainting, apple juice, outside, nap, etc.
When we arrived home yesterday, we had a quick snack and ran over to visit the neighbors as their son is going back to college and we wanted to say goodbye. Upon returning home after that brief visit, he had A MELTDOWN! Yes, emphasis on the capital letters. I chalked it up to keeping it together all day at school and then finally releasing all the emotions now that he was home — plus he was hungry.
So, I did as I have been reading about where there is “Time in” rather than “Time out” — and for us that consisted of me holding him and rocking on his rocking chair while he wails and I softly sing, telling him that everything is okay. Yesterday this lasted about 30 minutes and life got back to normal.
Today’s drop off went about the same. He was excited for school until we got to the building and then he started with “no school mama, home, new car, go home….” And we talked about how much fun he had yesterday and all the things he did. I made it through drop off (okay, admittedly my heart breaking a bit as I heard him crying) and went to work. I decided today to avoid the hunger issue today and slice up an apple and take that for the car ride home. It worked…for awhile.
When we got home, he excitedly told me all about his day, singing, jumping, more painting, apple juice, etc. He watched a show while I made dinner and then I sat him in his booster seat to eat. At that time, he picked up his cup of milk (we are working on minimizing the sippy cups…) and THREW IT ACROSS THE ROOM! Wow…and then the wailing began.
Covered in milk, I quickly undressed him and rinsed him off in the shower (yes, assume the wailing continues throughout this process…) and wrapped him in a towel and back to the rocking chair we went. We had the same “time in” with the rocking and singing and that lasted about 20 minutes. He finally calmed down and I put his pajamas on him and he wanted to rock some more. We did this for another few minutes until he decided he was ready to eat and said, “sorry mama…” about the milk.
We went out to the kitchen and as he sat down to eat, happily now, I decided it was just one of those days that we needed a cookie…and then I remembered the “stash” my mother in law made when she was here. She makes these amazing chocolate chip, oatmeal, peanut butter things that are to die for. Before she left, she made us a batch and baked them but then also froze the cookie dough so that we could “bake at a later date…” and I did.
Carter and I ended our day with a homemade cookie from Mamere, and loved every last bite! Fingers crossed for shorter crying in the days to come…I’m headed on a work trip and hubby will get his first taste of the after school routine!
5 responses so far ↓
Amy // August 18, 2009 at 9:27 pm |
Given that my kids aren’t as old as Carter yet, I’m talking out of line but how about doing your Time In prior to dinner and the meltdown?
Jen // August 19, 2009 at 10:47 am |
Hey – read your blog!! I agree that the fits that he has after school are a combination of a lot of things. He spends all day being good, sharing, blah blah and then has to let loose when he gets home. And the hunger thing does not help! I usually make dinner the night before so we can just heat up and eat within 15 minutes of getting home. I think she is really hungry since she eats lunch at 11:00. (she does get a snack at 4 but how filling can a few slices of orange and a graham cracker be?). Anyway, holding him and rocking him is great but another day of it and he is going to expect it every day!! Then, how the heck are going to be able to get anything done? I let Joely have her fit, make sure she is in a safe place and when she is done, we can talk about what happened when she is calm.
Drop off will get easier!! A few more weeks and he will run in and be so excited to see his friends.
Also, keep snacks in the car for the ride home! (especially if you need to stop for gas or clearners).
Hope this helps!!
Michelle Nichols // August 19, 2009 at 11:38 am |
Great ideas! I am going to try the “time in” when we first get home — although he usually only likes the snuggling when he’s upset but it is worth a shot. I do like to talk about what is making him upset after he calms down. Although yesterday talking about it made him upset again! More to come, stay tuned!
laugheveryday // August 22, 2009 at 10:25 pm |
I have so been there. I am a big fan of time in – even to this day, time out does not work for Ben. I think this is something leftover from his life in the orphange, because he FREAKS if we try to put him in time out. It works so much better to get soft and calm with him. I am with everyone else on doing it as soon as you get home.
Good luck with drop offs. Ben ALWAYS cried… at daycare – for 18 months he cried nearly every day, until I was out of sight and then he was okay. It KILLED me though, and I drove to work many days crying. But now that he’s started kindergarten he hasn’t had a single tear… I think Ben is an exception. I am sure most kiddos do not keep up the crying so long.
angie // August 23, 2009 at 9:55 am |
michelle! i have no experience from the adoption perspectives…sounds like you are doing the right thing when it comes to that.
i will say that savannah is always OVERLY tired when school starts back. she usually requires more sleep and is just plain exhuasted. once she gets in the routine, she is fine…it just takes awhile.
you are doing great
hope the little man adjust quickly!